We're ready...

This is us.

Chiang Mai, Thailand

Elephant Nature Park

I've always wondered when Danny and I would feel ready for kids. It really came naturally...

Everyone's advice was to just enjoy marriage and travel. So we did just that. After nearly two years of marriage and 6 countries later. We felt more ready than ever to grow our family.

[March 2016] I remember my dirty thirty trip to Thailand, we decided to "pull the goalie" and just "let it happen". No ovulation strips. No special pre-seed lubrication. Good ol' sexy time. What better way to start a family than in Thailand and Vietnam!

Up to this point I had been working at LinkedIn for 6 months. As a new wife and mother-to-be, I felt the need to have the perfect job and at the perfect company, before getting pregnant. My manager was a mother of 3, the entire team was so supportive, and our company had amazing benefits. I felt all my bases were covered. #womenintech

3 months go by. Okay, I guess I'm not as young and fertile as I thought I'd be. Let me start testing my ovulation time, and not tell Danny so he doesn't feel pressured. Still nothing. 8 months go by. My sisters got pregnant by this time. FOR SURE we'll get pregnant soon. We didn't.

[Sad part] I would never even wish this struggle upon my worst enemy. Seeing a negative pregnancy test first thing in the morning is heart-wrenching. Starting my period at work and having to move on with my day, is like holding a lump of emotions in your throat for 8 hours. I've even cried in a bathroom stall in between meetings. It's hard not to wonder if I would ever get pregnant.

I don't expect everyone to understand what this feels like. Most stories we hear are, "we started trying and we're pregnant!". A dream come true in my eyes. Then there's the 1 in 8 women who are struggling, just like me, but don't have heart to talk about it.

I know it'll happen. And I know some day I'll be ready to share our story.